Slow Sunday

Recently I've had a bee in my bonnet. I want our chaos to become organised chaos. One of the areas that seems to be neglected until our annual tax return is our FILING. It all goes into one big pile, but it doesn't ever get sorted until it needs to be. I have blamed this partially on not having a designated office, but soon thats not going to be a reason. I get my desk on tuesday from a friend, so hopefully I'll have a little "ME" space to show you, soon. In that ME space will be a place to file - a small way to bless my husband at his most stressful time of year - financial year end. 

Pooka (Asher) chilling out on the "eat you up" sofa, with his apple. 

Pooks with a little company from his big brother. Even the kids moved slowly today.

There is a point to all this rambling - I finally filled all of paperwork from our car purchase. We bought our car in May. Last year. Yes. Im THAT bad. As I was punching and filling, I noted the MOT date (MOT is like a roadworthiness test you car has to have here annually, from its third birthday) and stopped dead in my tracks. In all our distraction with Dad in December, I completely forgot that my car was due its first MOT. In short, I've been driving around illegally, with invalid insurance, in snow and all, for nearly three MONTHS.  We immediately cancelled our Sunday plans, and Mike had to catch the bus with Levi into Church to teach kids ministry. They had SUCH fun. 

Spring Dafs!

I had a morning alone, with just Pooks. I am speechless about how much I got done. I got to sleep in an extra hour and a half. I cleaned the whole house and it STAYED clean. I did a little laundry. I straightened picture frames, and they stayed straight. I made beds, that remained made. Everything stayed how i'd put it. Asher followed me around, riding on the vacuum cleaner and "dusting". I had a glimpse into life when Levi grows out of his current chaos. Its going to be blissful. 

Mike and Levi got in around 2pm, we had lunch and then all my boys decided to nap. I was completely alone in a sparkling house. Never in living memory as a mother has this ever happened. I literally twiddled my thumbs as I paced the kitchen, not knowing what to do next. My gaze rolled over my cookbooks as I turned to continue pacing. Soaking up the order with each breath. I decided to bake (surprise, surprise) and skype mum for a catch up. 

Feta and Peppadew muffins.  Recipe to follow! 

Once the savoury muffins were in the oven, I started on supper. Simple Shepherds Pie won the grocery bill lottery (when I skim read the bill which I keep next to the fridge when I haven't made a meal plan..) and before I knew it everything was done. The week day snacks, a hearty supper. Even the dishes. My boys all woke from their nap, we had supper. Mike bathed them and put them to bed. 

Simple Shepherd Pie

We had a word from friends at our last life-group, that we were entering a season of being carried. That we were being cut back and pruned in order for there to be abundant fruitfulness in the season ahead. Im trusting that this is just the start of it! Oh what a spacious place I found myself in today. Long may it last. 

Parenting - for their benefit, not our convenience.

Spring is coming. We have the tell tale white daisy weeds to prove it. In a few months I'll post pictures of our "snow" white lawn, covered in hundreds of these mini daisies. For now I'm just going to ask that you don't the random plastic garden furniture and melamine planks we've used through winter to keep our pooch out of our neighbours garden. They're trying to sell their home, and something about a feral Jack Russell Terrier barking at prospective buyers in their future garden and then sneaking back through the hole in the fence just seemed, well, unhelpful?

Some of you might like me a little less after this post. You will probably disagree strongly with me, and not be too fond of the way we parent. But I'm not here to make friends. Wait, thats a lie. Making new friends and learning from you all is exactly why I'm here. But whats the point in you making friends with a fake me?

We believe in firm discipline and strong boundaries. Don't rush ahead and take this whole thing out of context. But this is what we've been working through and feeling recently.

Hebrews 4 vs 12 says "For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart."

This scripture has informed and inspired they way we discipline. I've heard many messages on parenting. One thing that stood out from the rest was a simple "aside" in a message I heard when I was probably only 15. I remember consciously "bookmarking" it for when I was a mom. This is by NO means supposed to condense all parenting advice into one paragraph, this is mere something to consider alongside your convictions and the way you parent.

The advice went something like this. When parenting, it is important to be able to tell the difference between choices your child is making, and to be able to put them into one of two categories. Is the choice they are making, making a difference to their MORTALITY or to their ETERNITY? When our children hear us cautioning them, we want them to listen, not just hear.

The example given by the father of four (now fully grown and married off) men was his sons wanting to ride quad bikes on a friends farm. They had little experience on the bikes and teenage boys being teenage boys there were certainly risks to their mortality. They chose, as parents, to let them decide whether they would go or not. They laid out the risks, ensured that their boys where adequately trained in control and safety on the bikes, advised them again reckless behaviour and then gave them the choice.

He went on to explain that most of us, boys especially, have a taste for adventure. As parents our desire and instinct is often to protect them from every potential hurt that could arise. This can possess a danger in itself.

Many children, my eldest especially so, possess a very adventurous, independent streak. Most boys have a taste for "danger". Most Moms have a taste for overprotection. I never want my boys to feel smothered. While we do not tolerate disobedience, I've found myself reminded of this and questioning my motivation for some of the things I would naturally say "no!" to.

It is important that our children, especially those who are adventurous, are ALLOWED a sense of freedom, and a taste of danger. We let them climb. We let them ride bikes. We let them walk along the high wall most of the way to school. We let them jump around in their water filled sand pit in the FREEZING cold. NOT because its convenient. Because its ANYTHING but. We let them have their desire for adventure filled, even when it may mean and extra trip to the emergency room. Im not advocating for reckless behaviour, obviously, just a bit more freedom where **I** would naturally have said NO! We need to remember who our children belong to, and not to extinguish the adventurous fearless spirits He has given them. He loves them and He will protect them.

I pray this over my boys regularly - Psalm 121 

I lift my eyes up to the hills - where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The Lord watches over you - the Lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord will keep you from all harm, he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forever more. 

We let our boys be fearless because we desire for our children to work out their "adventure seeking" in areas effecting only their mortality, so that one day, when we need to rebuke or offer a caution in an area that will effect their eternity, their forever relationship with God, that they heed our warnings. That they understand that we are not here to spoil their fun. That they know we desire them to have a full life.

We want our NO's to be serious. To have weight. And to be for their benefit, not our convenience.  We discipline attitudes way more than we discipline actions. Its why I took all of these gorgeous pictures of Levi jumping around in dirty water rather that hauling him in and sticking him on a time out. He was outside playing on his slide with me watching from the kitchen window, when he realised that the rain had filled up his upturned sand pit. I saw the thought flash across his mind and by the time I got across the garden he was already standing, shoes on, in knee deep water. GRINNING. I couldn't kill his joy. So I enjoyed him, enjoying life. And then bribed him in with the promise of a warm bath. 

In the end it turned out he really just wanted to be back outside. He made a run for it while I was loading his clothes into the washing machine. 

And essentially, I was reminded, to be loving. Full of patience, kindness, gentleness and selflessness when it comes down to the crunch. When my washing pile grows just so that he can have fun. 

For Moms.

Im just back from an impromptu visit to the hospital. I gave the new dad a call to see if the new mum was up for visitors, and hightailed it out of here the second he said yes! There's nothing more precious than watching someone you know well, becoming a Mom. For me its one of the most special things in the world to witness, and I feel privileged each time I get to sneak into the maternity ward for newborn cuddles and new mum heart to hearts.

Levi, June 2008

Levi, June 2008

Motherhood settles upon a woman like a mantle. She is instantly changed forever. Do you remember what it was like? Im certain its different for each of us - but we all make that same transition. For some its the easiest thing in the world, for others the biggest challenge they will ever face. The wonderful thing, is that each time, with each child (even to the same mum), its unique - and its always beautiful. 

So, today, Im just posting a reminder. A reminder of first love. That new born smell. Their warm pink skin. 

Asher, November 2009

Their tiny warm bodies. 

Asher, November 2009

Just watching them sleep. 

Asher, November 2009

Learning what they don't like.

Asher, December 2009 

Learning how to comfort them. 

I encourage you - take a look through those newborn pictures. Be reminded of their sweet faces, which I feel guilty to say I hardly recognise at all. Be reminded of the sweetness of the gift, now that we're mucking through the swell of daily life with children. Just pause, and take in where they are, because if you're reading this you know all too well how fast is going. How fast its going to be gone. 

And Rejoice, before hopping up to put on another load of laundry. How blessed we are have baby clothes to launder. 

Levi's first day at nursery!

I remember the feeling of him shifting into my ribs. The little tick-tick of his tiny hiccups. The very first kick. The very last kick. I remember prodding at my bump, while sitting on the operating table having my spinal done, to wake him up to say goodbye to him being just mine. I remember his first nappy change, his first breastfeed, his first bottle feed, his first bowl of cereal. I remember it like it all was yesterday.

I couldn't understand why my heart was so heavy at that moment, when I felt his last shift and thump into my ribs as the epidural started to work. I was minutes away from meeting my baby. It's what pregnancy had been preparing me for. I was getting to meet my baby! I know now that I felt heavy in my heart because I knew it was the last time he was going to be all mine. The last time I could completely protect him. The last moment before the outside world take its grip on him. I never thought about it again until today.

Levi has never been to school before today. You'd never have guessed. He looked for a hook to hang his bag on the second we walked in the door. He made a break for his classroom before we could even get his raincoat, which he INSISTED on wearing rather than his winter coat, off over his head. He excitedly bolted, as if there was a race to be won, and settled himself on a chair between two other little boys (one hanging on to his dad) to build block towers.

He never looked back. He didnt say goodbye. I watched him a while through the window. My heart swelled with pride and with pain. My eyes brimmed with tears. This time I knew all to well why I felt the way I did. Today I got to meet my little boy. He went to bed, still my baby, but this morning HE chose what coat he wanted to wear. When we bought it, I said it was for school. When he woke up, I said today was school day. He wanted to wear his raincoat. He put his own bag on his shoulders. He fed himself breakfast. He grew. I'm not entirely sure when. At two and a half he doesnt really talk yet, so its easy to forget. He's a little boy. And all too soon, he'll be a man.

And that, ladies, will make us OLD!

One!

Im convinced that the older you get, as each year you live progressively becomes a smaller and smaller fraction of your life, so they pass faster. Each year really does seem to fly by quicker that the previous one. Even the weeks are melting into one.

Asher's last night being 0. 

You know when your best friend posts about your baby's first birthday before you do that you've been slack. Well, Jules beat me to it. SO here I am playing catch up.

When you invite all 8 babies your little one's age to a party, you really dont think they will all make it. When they do, along with their Mummy, Daddy and sibling, your November townhouse livingroom party may start to feel like a ludicrous idea.

At least one baby will sit down ON a plate of food. 

This was my two year old's first party that he has been old enough to understand that those big packages are in fact gifts - wonderful fun toys that we want to unwrap, and that cake is sweet and tasty and candles are for blowing it. So predictably, he thought it was HIS party!

Asher is quite happy to let his brother take care of the dirty work for him.

Our in-house pyrotechnologist was sorely disappointed that there was only ONE candle to blow out. 

Needless to say, it was chaos. There was a LOT of mess. A LOT of noise. But they all seemed to really have fun!

 A stolen moment with my Love. 

Even Asher's God Parents (Tom and Chelsea) who you may remember from my previous posts,  made it with baby Lucas. Her mum is over from Australia and, as you can see below, she is just LOVING being with her babies.

The theme was a teddy bear's picnic. November isnt the best time of year for a picnic, but we made do!

Sweet Jules saw through my vision of a teddy bear cut out to keep memories of our guests. She painted away merrily downstairs as guests arrived. Isnt she brilliant?

 Jules and JoJo

Sweet Jules (top pic) and amazing JoJo (bottom pic) are two of my oldest friends from SA who are both living close to me in London for the time being. There is nothing like friends with history. They both have unbelievable capacity and time for my babies. They afford us date nights, let me steal their gorgeous non-mummy clothes and they LOVE my babies even when they are grubby and stinky.

 

Birthday boy

As any Mom who reads this will know, the first year of your second baby's life goes by in a heart beat! Its been a time filled with JOY and love and litte Asher Keith, who's name means blessing in the midst of a battle field, has truly lived up to it!

Now, given we live in a backwards country that (even though we get it every year) doesnt know how to deal with even an inch of snow, im off to grocery shop and stock my larder. Hopefully I'll get to posting some winter warming recipes for you soon. 

XXX